LIES.

so i got lied to and told the guy i like died, but i found out he didnt. i found out he's just in the hospital. he had to be hookedup to an iv, he had brain damage, he didnt remember anyone for a while and he broke i dont even know how many bones. =/ but he's okay, he'll be out by thursday hopefully. i juss wanna see him. you know what's werid though? i cried more when i found out he was in the hopsital in pain than when i found out he died.. maybe its cause im scared of pain, so when i found out he was in pain i freaked out? who knows. im juss sosososos fucking happy he's okay. it made my fucking day so much better when tyler IM'd me and told me everything. im kinda nervous to go see him when he hangs out cause what if he dosent wanna see me? i dont think he knows how bad i wanna see him right now. fuck dude. i dont even know if i like him, i think i juss wanna make sure he's okay. fuck i hate when shitty things happen to the most amazing people who dont do ANYTHING wrong. but i guess things happen for a reason? i dont know. i juss need something to keep me occupied and to keep my mind off of anthony till i get to see him.
blahhh i dont know why i waste my time on you. ive liked you for 3 years and i finally told you and it was too late, im too much of a little sister to you, or whatever.. and you dont wanna hurt me. ive seen you go through girls like no other. and it sucks that no matter what im always there at the end, im always there to help you and shit. and im sick of it. i wish i didnt care for you. GODDAMMIT.



the river this weekend.
hopefully brandi goes with me.
we need bonding time.<3