i never ment to hurt you, i couldnt put you throught this shit anymore. so i sent this seven page long fucking text that was the cutest fucking shit ever and all you say is okay. its like you didnt fucking care.
than you make me feel like shit.
calling me perfect and shit. you KNOW how hard it was for me to just end everything with you and you asdkasjgfkasfjasfa;
fuck dude.
its like you wanna fucking hurt me. well CONGRAULATION YOU FUCKING SUCCEDED.
"your juss like everyone else.
i cant believe that i stayed so unhappy for so long."



i hung out with my new lover last night (:
he's like bah cute! with his amazing flannel that i stole and his cute nerd glasses.
ah and he's freaking halarious when he was singing and dancing in the car.
i couldnt stop laughing.
and he made me smile when he kept calling me cute and he would grab me and my hand and he was juss being all cute.
but he's stupid for getting high )):
oh welllll. he's still amazing.
wait, calling him amazing's an understatment.<3
BUT i dont wanna rush into a relationship.
that was my last mistake. im gonna wait and see what happens.
plus i dont think im ready for a boyfriend.
i dont know.
OH and i hung out with this guy evan tooo, and he's my other lover (;
hahahaha. "im not trying to earn my red wings!" hahahahahaahah.


my bestfriends starting college in a couple days or something i dont know when but im like scared that im gonna lose her.
like, she wont have anymore time for me she'lll be too busy for schoool.
were INSERAPABLE right now and i like it and if we like dont hang out as much i have a feeeling well fall apart, even though we text EVERYSINGLE day. but stilll. like i already lost vee and i cant lose brandi.
kashfafhasfasfhasfas;
i'll juss go kidnap brandi from college and make that shitface hang out with me,(:
hahahahaha.



"did you juss spray your cooch?" hahahahaahhahahaahhaha.
oh my god.
i love my mom.
i never knew she knew what exaclty i was thinking.
she knows more than i thought.
she gave me some good advice, and made me think on the car ride home last night.
it was weird. like she knew exactly what to say. she made my decsion alot harder than needed but her advice helped.










ive come to the conculsion that im gonna look at the glass half fulll, not half empty, & i wont give up.
mm lets see how long that lasts.