WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

FUCK the bullshit, fuck the haters, fuck the drama.
i got what i need!
i dont need anyone else and ima live my life the way i want.
im getting into the party scene and maybe doing the "wrong" shit, but you only live once? and im still a kid, lemme live my life. i wanna have fun while im still young!


I JUSS GOT PAID, AND IM TRYN TO GET LAID?!

Alll i ever wanted to pick apart the day and put the pieces back together my way.

so its offical, after 4 years of us being bestfriends its all over with? no longer friends with tori.
:/
ive never actaully dropped her before. ive always got into arugments with her then like an hour later we made up, but this time its diffrent.. and honestly i feel so lost without her im like lowkey stuck.. who am i gonna sing on the top of my lungs to hawthrone heights with? smoke ciggerates, and drive arond, have sleepovers, get drunk in my backyard and like.. call my bestfriend? noone. im over having a bestfriend. i really am. they always fucking give up on me and im so over it. HA. like really, i really am. its so dumb.. oh well. fuck it. i can make it on my own. hopefully.


but me and misty are like super close and im super stoked, shes chill as fuck :D i love her!
and, i like a new boy but hes a player i guess.. and in front of all his friends, or if were in a group he lowkey will hold my hand under the table where were smokin' at, but when were alone he's super cute! like he'll hold me and like kiss my forhead and shit but like we get back wheere everyone else is, im like non exisitng. there's so many reasons for it, and im like thefuuuuuck! its dumb. i juss dont know. i hope i actually get something good out of this, and not get hurt. like lowkey i really wanna boyfriend.. :/
ugh, whatever.

i really need to stay sober, from drugs, from alcohol.
i cant lose my friends.
i cant lose my family.
i cant lose my life.
i need to get my shit together..

MOMO PARTY TONIGHT.

i hope it alll works out as planned.
<3

your love, your love, your love is my drug.

fuck this shit.
got suspened, grounded, no boy, and toris dropping me cause i guess ive changed and she has brian and thats all she needs.
HAHAHA.
what the fuck ever.

i fell alseep with the lights on.

why are you on and off talking to me?!
why cant you either end things, or consintally talk to me. like im not gonnna be your little bitch whos gonna be around whenever you wanna fuck.
no, im not like that.
i like you, alot and you know that.
and your sitting here like being alll cute one day, then the next 3 days you dont talk to me, then talk to me, then dont.
youll be cute one day, then stupid the next.
fuck. but im stuck on you):
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy does this happen to me?! like really? ha fuckmylife.

i cant help it.

IM FUCKING HAPPY!
happyhappyhappy!
really happy.<3

life is gooood!

I knew you wouldnt leave me.

Me and brandi are finally okay again. i missed her. i still havent seen her though :/ but i finally saw brian and paul yesturday! ahh i missed them. so now in fullerton i got, brandi, jamie, cj, tori, brian and paul and i guess justin :D fasho. i guess i could go down there if i dont see anyone else but them. but i dont wanna risk getting into drama.. not down dude. not down at all. but things are comming along perfectly :)
besdies the fact that im not like talking to the boy i like anymore. hes a douchebag. they all are. and im kinda skectchy about my "friend" talkin shit. but oh well, i guess everyone talks shit. hahaha.
i wanna party this weekend, but not drink. only smoke mary janee :} hahaha
i actually wanna pull a crazy ass adventure this weekend. i juss dont know what i should do.
i juss kinda want happiness again. like full happiness. back like 6 months ago. but i dont know. i guess im content with where i am..

i wanna run, ill keep you safe here with me.

things are looking up and im quite happy.
all this bullshit made me fall behind in school, made me think too much and focus on the crap and not school.
but im comming back and gonna graduate!
so stoked.
i got my bestfriend back, were hanging out tonight.
and i made a new friend; misty.
shes probally the chillest girl ive ever met.
shes down to earth and funny as fuck.
we get along so well.
im glad things are finally going back to how there suppsoto.

:)

im not sure anymoreeee

Im finally starting to not to be so insecure about myself.
i mean im still not comfortable with my weight but im sure every girl is.
im gonna start to work out soon and hopefully lose some of my chub. im juss glad im not like super fat, or super skinny like gross skinny.
i guess ima little overweight. but oh well. fuck itt.
and im starting to like my freckles.
i balrey wear any face make up anymore. i put some on but i dont reapply it all the time anymore. well i take that back, i do but not as much as i use too.
im over getting called a freckle face. yeah i have freckles and there MY own uniqunesss. and i like them. fuck what everyone else thinks.
i got called pretty alot this past week and a half, and im like really happy:) im not getting called ugly and thats all i want.
this is my confidence booost i need.
& not having my phone to argue with poeple is actually cool too. im not trippin on not havin it.
i know ill get it this weekend, and get off grounding finally! and then hangout with brian, & mistyyy :} my faviorate peoplee!
im glad me and misty are close now. shes the chillest girl ever. shes like one of my bestfriendss.
since mine dosent seem to care about me anymore.. :/ hahaha. fuck it.



the only bad thing is i miss my friends.. i lost a couple of the most amazing people ive ever met.
and it fuckin sucks. but ill live.. hopefully.

Im like happy and content again.
Things worked out for the best.
FUCK THE HATERS, fuck all fake friends, and the BULLSHIT.
This whole weekend made me reliaze who's there for me, and whos not.
I got who I need and I dont need anyone else.
:}


Dont belive in me?
FUCKKKK YOUUUU.

hey..

i need a new life..