if im juss bad news, your a liar.

again, i kinda got fucked over by a guy. i heard hes been fucking with his ex and than flipped out on me for asking and called ME crazy? really? HA! this fool's tripppin'. i shoula listened to everyone that warned me about him. ha, fuck it. i like didnt even cry. i wasnt upset. i juss gladly went on with my night. i guess im getting ALOT better at this whole getting fucked over bullshit. i guess it gets easier everytime.
but theres a new boy whos been flirting with me, and hes SUPER cute but im not gonna rush into anything quite yet. i need to foucus more on school, and getting my shit together! i really wanna graduate. but i probally wont =/ theres a like a BIG chance i wont graduate! like fuck, it makes me think and it sucks. its all cause of fucking geometryy! and im a lazy as fuck in most of my classes. i need to get my shit together but its hard for me. AKFHAL! fuck, if i dont graduate i honestly dont know what im gonna do! whateverrr. winter break in 3 weeks, and thats when tori gets her license! so stoked. were gonna be EVERYWHERE! but nowhere around here. i wanna get away! go up to the IE and kick it with the homies up there! like adam, and james :] im really dont trippppin' about having a boyfriend, cause i know i cant keep one cause im still young and immature. so why waste my time getting hurt and hurting them? i need to really open my eyes up to alot more and appericate more things!

im losing everything,

i cant handle this anymore.
things go so well for such a short amount of time, than they turn to shitttt all over again.
i cant handle this, i cant deal with this. i CANT.

have faith in me,

things are getting better. and im happy again. ive had a smile on my face for 2 days straight! things are going right again and it feels so good to smile.
:)

take me home, i rather die than be with you.

me and tori NEVER fight and we have latley.. and its really starting to get to me. like it feels like were gonna juss get sick of each other than theres another bestfriend i lost. but im gonna keep my head up and hope that dosent happen. and im sure it wont. we've been bestfriends for like 4 years, if we've dealt with each other for 4 years we can handle little fights. and we've been through WAY more than this.
ive been seeing brandi alot more now that i go downtown more often. and its always good to see her! im so glad me and her are still close even though we've been through so much bullshit. i still consider her one of my bestfriends. i love talking to her when im upset. she makes everything better. shes like a mom to me. its cute (:
i kinda miss vee... :/ but than again whats done is done, whats in the past is in the past and theres no turning back now.

i dont know what to do!
go for someone who i have a feeling is a man whore, and will off and on talk to me and will be gayy and probally only wants to get in my pants, or wait for who knows when for the boy im IN love with who dosent want anything to do with meeee or juss be single and say fuck it and dont talk to any boys?!
ashflahflas i know what i SHOULD do, but i cant. i dont wanna be single, i dont wanna not talk to a boy. i feel so alone and i HATE it duuuuude. like i really do :/ ive been single for too long and fucked with too much and i juss wanna find love and be happy!
but i guess it takes time.
i missss a certian boy from my past i know i shouldnt miss but i see him alot now and i cant handle seeing him and his new girl like AHH! fuck. whatever.


time heals all.
things are gonna get better over time.
i juss have to br strong and live my lifeeee.
right?

be strong for me, ill be strong for you.

everything went to shit, AGAIN. in the matter of like 3 days.
i lost my fucking phone, im not getting a fucking new one any time fucking soon.
the boy who im in love with fucking hates me and wants nothing to do with me.
and i lost a couple of "friends."
FUCKING SWEEET BRO! FUCKING SWEEET.
what the fuck else could go wrong?
like really?

i need to get away.
i wanna move away.
fuck this city, and state.

take me to the river.. please.

if i could go back and do it one more time, i would have done it right.

"i'm done with everbodys bullshit maybe it's about time to finally move on but no matter how much i want to i know its not even slightly possible. i miss how things used to be, but doesn't everybody? story of my life, it's great."
^^^ AFUCKINGMEN!



ive learned to deal with shit, and dont let it affect me as much as i do.
now when a boy fucks me over i sit, cry for a while like a normal human being would do than keep moving on and never look back.
when people start shit, or talk shit ill laugh give them the hand, and walk away cause im not gonna lower myself to thier level.
and when i think im gonna break down ill tell myself im stronger than this, way stronger and way better than this. cause I AM wether you agree or not.
people tend to think im this weak thing that cant fight my own battles, or that im an emotional wreck well YOUR WRONG!
i can fight my own battles, i just have a very over protective bestfriend who will fight anyone who starts shit with me before i could even throw a punch, shed already be getting down with that person. sorry that my bestfriend cares about me and dosent want me to get in a fight. if shes not there ill still run my mouth juss as much as when im with her and i will back my shit up and run my mouth and if it comes down to it ill fight, and i may or not get my ass kicked but at least i stood up for myself, right?
and for boys, HA! im stronger than most of the fucking people i know. yeah, ill cry over a boy, or be upset over a boy but im not like some people who get all emotional and shit. im not saying its bad, being emotional is part of life but i dont break down like most people. ive reliazed boys come and go, and theyll come and go for the rest of your life. well until your married, and yeah everytime you get fucked over, or broken hearted it get harder, BUT it makes you stronger too. and i havent been all emotional, and when i am its fucking forsure not about boys. its about the bullshit with my parents and other shit in my life. boys dont matter to me. i havent cried over a boy in forever. like a couple months. but i also havent had a thing with a boy in like 4 months. but i AM STRONG. dont agree, or you think diffrent?! HA! i dont give a 2 shits of what you fucking think.
i will make it, ill make it with or without friends to support me.

yeaaaa,

i give up.

i never ment to start a war, i dont know even know what im fighting for.

why is love always feel like a battle field?
fuck boys! fuck them, fuck them alll!
i hate getting fucked over day after day.
i hate seeing everyone so happy around me, with there boys/girls.
FUCK!
this is getting so fucking old, this is really starting to get to me.
i act like i dont give a fuck, but i do.



i want someone :/