suck on my cack

im done being in the middle of all this bullshit dude.
seriously.
im not taking sides.
IMMA SHOVE AN UMBERLLA UP BOTH YOUR ASSES AND OPEN IT IF YOU BOTH DOEN CHUT UP.
(:
hahahaha, i love you guys though.
i think you too just need a little lovin in your pants and some frahhooooo's and you'll be okay.

askjfhaslfhasjklfjashfawskash;
so my bestfriend took e today, when I wasnt there to take care of her.
SWEEEET DUDE.
fucking sweet.
"/
i worry to much about her.
only cause she's my life. godamnnnit.



so me and toriwere talking and like amd we both wanna leave this fucked up town.
i wanna go up to the mountains for a couple days or something.
but were going to the river for new years (:
yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyey
get away from all this bullshit. STRAIGHT UP.

ah, my boyfriend makes me happpy.
im actually happpy (:
uasefgasgfasjflkasfaksfhashfwewutsef!
he's freaking amazing, but i feeel bad for him ://
i need to find him somwhere to stay.
seriously.
but im glad i have chuck as a friend.
that boy deserves the fucking world.
ive never met anyone like chuck, im lucky to have him as i friend.
straight up.


BAHHHH.
i fucking miss veeeee ://
i miss how we were, i know shit's not gonna go back to how it was.
imma have to face it, and get over it i guesss.
oh well she's happy with vince and ish, so whaaaatevers.









plus i got brandi and tori, <3
!@#$%^&*()*&^%

im never good enough.
obviously im not gooe enough if he's flirting with other girls and putting how he wants them on his myspace..
makes me feeel fucking amazing about myself.
im so fucking bad with boys, like its unbelievable "/
i needta get better at this whole being a better girlfriend shit.
i just want everything to work out, cause i have a goood feeeling about this one.
its been like six days, almost a weeek and ive alread cried like three times over him and the
shit he's pullled.
but im not givin up.

i hate being bestfriends with brandi, and tori, and having friends like vee cause they get
like every boy they want, or at least have boys on there nuts all the time.
and there all pretttttty fucking gorgoues.
blahhhh.



IM SO FUCKING HAPPPY THIS SHITTTY YEARS ALMOST OVER!
oh my god, so freaking happy its over.
this year... i cant even explain.
one fucked up year duuuude.
2009, its gonna be diffrent.

im not use to having a boyfriend.
ive only had 1 my whole life, and it lasted like uhm.. a month
and i was single for like a year before i got my SECOND boyfriend.
and its like weird cause im not use to it.
im use to be a huge flirt and like sweeet talking every boy, and like not being a slut, but
like a big flirt, and getting little random hookups.
but woaaaaah, i have a boyfriend.
holy crap.
i like him alot,<3
i havent felt this way in like forever, oh god damn.




i hate loosing friends.
esciaplly the ones that made me stronger, the ones who helped me through everything.
i guess its life.. "/
i guess you really cant keep a bestfriend for ever.
fuck whatever.
at least she's happppppy.







i reallly hope tori and brandi can go new years eve with us riding :)
or at least one of them
but hopefully both, hahaha.

mmm, my boyfriend did what i hate last night.
sweeeeet.
he said it was cause "he had too"
BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO SHIT!
dumbcuntbubble.



so i like when my "bestfriend" tells me she wants things to go back to normal and she'll do anything but when i text her, or at least try she juss stops.
alright chillll dawg.




last night was fucking fun, hahaha.
me and tori stayed up till like threeeee, drinking our energy drinks, and ate candy and danced our little butts offf. hahahahahah tori dancing to hot n cold made me laugh.
and brian is STUPID. like he needs mental help, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.



fuuuck i wanna kid who's a midget with torrets :)

LIAR.

wow.
WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCK!?
uhm, so you tell me all this shit like "ur the only girl for me:)"
and "oh turst. ur everything i want and need<3 and i would be stupid to let someone like you go"
there's like more of those cute texts but its tooo many.
BUT ANYWAYS, you fucking tell me all this cute shit than you fucking go flirt with these bitches behind my back?!
uh, GREAT boyfriend.
just becuase your in a fucking band and think your hot shit dosent mean you can fucking go flirt, and basically tell every bitch out there that wants your dick that your single..
cause uhm.. YOUR NOT. okay? mm, sweeeeet.




christmas is in like 3 days, GOD DAMN!
i still needta get brandi and tori something, shit shit shit.
AHHHHHHH.
swooooop.





im gettting fucking sick.
i woke up this morning next to tori, HAHAHA
but uhm, yeah i woke up and like i had a stufffy nose and my voice sounds so fucking shitty.
"/
fuck!

I HAVE A BOYFREEEEEEEEEEEEND!
as of december 19 2008 (:
ah! <3

i mean i know he's not mine yet, but holy shit.
i get so jealous.
i go on his myspace and his comments are open so you can see them, and bitches are all over his dick "/
fuuuuuuck.
but hopefully i get him before them.
he says im the only one he has feeelings for, but WHO KNOWS.
stupid boy.


yesturday was mine and brandi's one year.<3
ah, she came over we had so much frigggin fun.
got deeeem.
she has some prettttttty good advice too, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
man oh man.

i get taaa see brad today,<3
im so excited, ahhhh.
going to a show, well maybe. if not, i can care less what were doing as long as im with him(:
eeeeeeee.
i dont know what to wear!
ah shit! fuckshitnigggercockjewmonkey.

"i dont like jelous girls"
mm, im fucking sorry i got jelous. how can i not? you were telling me how you going to your friends house and his sister wants your dick and shit.
oh yeah, im not gonna get jealous.
whaaaatever.
this is stooooopid.
i just wanted everything to work out "/
yeah sorrry im not perfect.

i cant believe tommrow's gonna be mine and brandi's year, she's the reason im breathing.
god damn, she makes me happppier than a fat kid on thanksgiving!
i love her, more than anything(:
ah, one year.. wow.
one of the best years of my god damn life.
so many memories and & so many more to come.


its gettting ridiclicloisuly cold.
i was wearing TWO jackets today and i was still cold "/
but i looooove the rain.
eeeeeeee.


i cant wait to seee brad,<3 even though he's being stupid.

its starting to rain (:
and its making me happpy.
i juss wanna kiss in the rain "/
since i havent yet..
oh welll, ill wait.
& i know who its gonna be with.


FINALLLY, i found someone worth my time.
i really juss hope this time it'll work out.
im willing to risk whatever for him.
(:



i needta find brandi a boy, hopfully one of brad's friends.
i seee DOUBLE DATES!
hahaha.



im so lucky to have brandi.
she's theeee most amazing thing on this earth.
i cant believe on thursday its gonna be mine and her one year of being bestfriends.
wow.
i love that were inseraple now (: she's gonna be attached at the hip with me, but SHE wont leave like some people "/
mmmm yeah.





















i like brad, ALOT <3

i dont feeel good.
my legs, and arms are numb and they hurt, and my tummy hurts like a bitch. plus i have a massive head ache :(
i seriously thought i was gonna puke.
i still dont feeel good.

mm, show last night was WHACK!
stooopid kurt telling my bestfreind he saw me fucking some guy in the chain bathroom, HA!
wow. and those fucking bro's beating the shit outta me and tori cause we were girls. hmm, coool.
the only good part was sitting outside with ryan<3, he kept my feeet warm, and lemme wear his jacket. (: he's cuuuute.
uhm, i loooove when 20 year old yell at 16 year old for stupid shit.
fuck you jose, fuck you fuck you fuck you. seriously, your treating my bestfriend like shit.
imma fucking rip your heart out, take a bite of it, piss on it and stick it in your fucking asshole.
FUCK YOU, YOUR WORTHLESS, (:
my bessfreeen should juss break up with him already, cause the same shits happpening AGAIN.
wow, ah fuck.


me and brandi are gonna get smitted, HAHAHAHA.
were hoooooooooooooooooooooorible people.


i wish brad lived closer :(

okay, AH. im so fucking happy right now.
OH MY GOD.
he's so fucking cute, and amazing, and prettty much perfect.
holy shit.
i havent felt this way in like such a looooong time.
gawd deeeem. i cant even begin to exlpain, but this time its diffrent, i actually see things going somewhere and not juss a hit it and quit it like the past couple of boys.. >:/
but fuuuck it whaaaevers.
he theeee only boy i want.<3


asklfhaslfhalfhashfashfasjklfasfwekfafjhafjahfagag;
i have a feeeling everythings gonna start to slowly get better.((:

ah, so i have my eye on a certain boy, he's cute as fack, sweeeet, dosent talk about hooking up, sex and all that nonsense, he sweeet talks me so that i smile till my face is about to rip, but best of all HES IN A BAND! askhfaslfhlas; i saw them saturday with utg. mm yeeeee.
we texted all yesturday and all today non stop. but he lives in like chino :( its so far, ah shit.
but at least fulllatown closer to it than buena park, ha.
STYG tommmmrow.<3 god deeem, i cant wait. there's gonna be drama, OF COURSE :/
oh well, me and brandi are gonna have fun & NO ONE'S taking the fun from me or ill kieeeel a fucking bitch.
hahaha. hopefully chuck and tony go, cause KURT, needs to get his fucking as beat :)
talk shit on me, pay to conquenses ;)
HAHHAAHAHHA, oh man.


i dont know what imma wear tommmrow "/
something to pit in, i wanted to wear boootyshorts, but me and tori already did that one time and yeah, wasnt a good idea. we almost got rapped! fuckfuckityfuckfuck.

it thudered for like 7 seconds today, and i was walking down the staris at school, and i screamed and ran, hahahaahha some black kid saw me and laughed.
mm, im over like everyone i was intrested in, hahaahahahahhaah.
wow, that didnt sound bad, but seriously. yeah, there were like 5 boys i had a thing for, HA. now im over it, expect my new lover(;

imma lesbein guys, wooo! HA, not.
people and there patheic rumors. i think its bullshit people at kennedy are STILL talking shit about me even when i dont go there, haaaaa, wonderfull. and telling shit to me sister?! coool. now she looks at me diffrently. whaaaevers.
i got my mojo back (: swoooop!
im back mothaaaa fuckers.



tommmrow should be fun, HA.
but i cant wait till saturday.
straight up.
its gonna be amazing.
getttin my ticket either today or tommrows.


me and kailey are preeeety close now <3

ah today's ten months of mine and veronica's friendship.
damn, its been ten months of crying, laughing, ciggs, drugs, alchocal, bus rides, singing, basically anything to can think of.
and we stuck together this long.
yeah, were falling apart, but i wont let go. she was there when life was down the drain, she was there through everything.
she use to put me before her boyfriends, i was her BESTFRIEND.
we were breandvee, no one could stop us. than her new boyfriend came and it went down hill.
ive known her boyfriend since like seventh grade and we dont get along, so its hard.
but i know in the end, well still gonna die holding hands with our friendship bracletts.<3
i cant even being to explain the good times we've had.
i never knew what kinda of person i was till she came around, she brought out the crazy side in me.
and i will always love her.
dweeezle, and mooonunit agaisnt the world.<3 febaury 10th 2008.

AH SHIT.
styg's saturday(: me and brandi are gonna get our tickets tommrow.
i cant wait, shit me tori and brandi are gonna OWN the pit (;
hahahahahahaha.
cause, guuuurls can pit tooo.

i got my mojo back.
(:
nooooothings stopping me now, swoooooop!

i wore my utg jacket today, ahh shit its so comfy and amazing.
deeeeeeeeem.
today was short day, i only had three periods, and i got out at like elven oh six, SWOOOP.
& i was talking to my lover(: hes too cute.
hahaha, well at least me and him are talking now. i guesss.


adjashdaskfda;
i cant wait for saturday.
stick to your guns show, and attack attack!
woooo, there's gonna be so many BOMMMMB boys.
swooooooooooooooooooooop.



okay, so maybe im not putting schoool before boys but im trying dammit!
its hard, cause yes, im boycrazshay.
oh well, there's nothing wrong with that.





i havent been feeling to good latley, i think im getting sick again.
shitfuckniggercockjewmonkey!


oh man oh man, imma be counting down the days tilll this weeekend.<3

LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING.
ahh!
underneath the gun, and word alive show.
wooo, me tori, and brandi were gonna be show ho's and juss stand in the back, but fuuuuck that were pitted (:
so, me and brandi are talking to the merch boys, who were FIONNNNE by the way, and brandi buys me this cute underneath the gun jacket that i was like in love with, and were talking to dusty from the word alive, and tori tells me that one of the boys that were selling the merch was zack from elysia, and im like oh fuuuck, so i'm like hey, arent you zack from elysia? and he smiles at me, and says no, and i thought he was lying, so im like dont lie to me! and he's like im not, zack tall with curly hair, and explaining what zack looked like, and he's like this is my band, and points behind him to a utg jacket, and i look at tori and shes like oh shit, so i found out he was harrsion from underneath the gun, and im laughing, and emberssed, and i tell him to take it as a compliment and he smiles and tells me he did. wooooo, hahaha.
i mean common zack from elysia's gorgoues. hahahaha.
and there were so many bommmmmb ass boys there, i needed to bring like extra underwear! hahahahahaha.
AND we made bestfriends with this guy name ray, who works at off the chain, and he's down as fuhhhhhh.
STYG saturday((:
me and tori are gonna hardcore dance, HAHAHAHAHA, that shit's gonna be classic.
straight up.
me tori, and brandi are gonna go to more shows, cause its better than doing drugs, and sitting at a park, or parking sctructure doing nothing.
just because im gonnna go to more shows dosent mean im trying to be "harcore", or a little "scene" kid.
if you think i am, thats good for you, cause i dont care(;
so fuuuuuckoffff.




i loooooove my utg jacket.<3

mm, so life's starting to turn out alright (:
i hung out with vee last night, its weird cause before last night i didnt see her for like over a month and once we hung out evrything went back to normal, and it felt like i hung out with her the day before, nothing's changed and that put a smile on my face.
i found out vince dosent hate me, he's only mean to me when joe's there, and i HATE joe.
i hope he gets hit by a bus. HAHAHAH. but me and vince are cool, me and vee are getting back to how we were.
and im trying to get my shit together. i'm fucking up in school already. im DONE being a fuck up, i realllllllllllly wanna get my grades up and actually get outta high school when im supposto, and prove everyone wrong. i'll prove everyone wrong, everyone
so suprisingly im finally putting school before boys, im not looking for anyone, and im not gonna stress on not having a boy or anything.
i mean yeah there's cute boys at my school ill talk to, but only in class and if there sitting next to me and talk to me first, im not gonna make the effort to get there attention, or talk to them.
so, i aint trippin.
saturday's show should be fun(:
ahh, so everything's falling into place, and im pretty happy.

mmm, so everythings getting better.
slowly but shurly,
expect me and vee keep drifting away and its killing me =/
FUCK VINCE, FUCK HER STOOOOOPID FUCKING BOYFRIEND.
I FUCKING HATE HIM, I HOPE HE GETS HIT BY A MOTHER FUCKING BUS.
he's the reason me and tori drifted apart, now he's the reason me and vee are falling apart.
two bestfriends in a mother fucking row.
this is such bullshit.
whatever, she'll come around eventually.
and i think me and tori are driffting apart too, cause of her boyfriend.
ahhaklfjaklfhaklhfasklhfasaeksfh489fweuw3325yv98afiahsfhas

mm, underneath the gun, and are you alive show saturday :)
mmm, woooo! im excited.
ill be with my bessfreeend so i'll have fun.


mm, im over the whole boy thing.
like, yeah im sick of being single, but whatevers.
the right one will come around eventually, if i have to wait, ill wait a little longer.
im use to waiting.
waiting a little longer wont hurt, im sure it'll be worth it all in the end.

i went riding with the family, my bestfriend, neena, & the smith family.
i dorve the rihno alllll day.
me and brandi were blarrring music and looking for cute boys, hahah.
i hadta go "thirty miles per hour" but i have a heavy foot and went like fifty.
there were toooo many bumps and i almost tipped the damn thing !@#$%^&*()
we saw cute boys comming the oppsite dirrection, and im going fiffty three miles per hour
on a bumpy dirt road thing, and i turn around, full throttle, and the shit's tippin on my side, i hadta slam on the breaks, >:/ hahahaha.
it was FREEEEEZING there. my hands were numb, and brandi fell asleep on my shoulder on the way home.<3
asjfgajksfgsalgs' it was dooooooooooooooooooooown.

everything's starting to slowly get better (:

i got accused of being a pill popper today.
by the lady who gave me birth.
i get outta the shower, get dressed, walk in my room, and she's standing there and she
has my note from annie, and she says "what's this about?!" and she shows me the note, and half way down it says "did you take the pills i gave you?" and i said, i didnt take them, and were yelling at each other, and and im crying cause she's accusing me of being a fucking pillpopper, and she takes my phone, and goes through it.
and she comes back in and trys to talk to me about it, at this time im bawling my eyes out, and shes yelling at me, than she walks out, i hear my dad say "what'd she do to get her phone taken away?" and she says im taking pills, and she says something else but i couldnt hear her. my dad walks in and says how im a disapoitment and all this bullshit.
its pretty pathiec how everyone thinks im some kinda druggie, and this peice of shit.
im not a druggie, yeah ive done drugs in the past, but its not like i still fucking do them or anything.
i try to please everyone else around me and i cant cause everyone expects to much outta me, and they all just break me.
im sick of losing friends to thier boyfriends. its been like this for like two years. they promise me they wont put there boyfriends in front of me, and like a day later, thats there main proierty. and im juss there. its happend at least five times in the past two years and im DONE.
and im sick of boys using me. i cant find someone who dosent juss want sex, or pictures, or dirtytalking. ill talk to a boy, and it'll get brought up, and ill say nooo i wont send a picture, or no i wont dirtytalk, and they say bye and i wont hear from them again. i dont understand why i cant find someone. am i really that ugly? everyone at least has a boyfriend/guurlfriend, or a hookup thats gonna turn into a relationship. all three of my bestfriends have boys. ive always been the one who's been a loner. ive had one boyfriend my whole life, and ive been single for about a year. everyone always says "stay posi bre" or they'll say "you'll find one, dont worry." how long are you gonna keep saying that? ive heard for the past fucking year, and its getting old. i juss hate being single. i wanna find someone =/

i love the rain :)
fuuuuuck the stupid fucking thunder, if it had a face i'd kick it!
hahaha.
i get way to scared, i know it wont hurt me, but it juss scares me.
yeah, imma baby. oh wellll.


i now wait.
i hate waiting! aksfhlasdfhasfa@#@%@!#&%$@!$%%
mmm, four day weeekend, woooo.
hopefullly i hang out with him, <3

wow, emberrsament!
im walking to class with annie, and of course the fagg's are standing outside my classroom talking like always and annie, being the douchebag she is is singing some song that goes "put in my mouth" and she's singing it as we pass the boys, and were half way in the door, and annie walks back out and looks at the boy that she knows i want and says "bre wants you to put it in her mouth" and he looks at me and goes "oh yeah?" and smiles, and im like yeah, uh this is emberrsassing, and i walk back into classss.
sdfkahsklfhasfklhas; ahhh. everyone always tells him how i wanna bang him.
cooooooooooooool.
mm. ITS RAINING! :))))
wooooo, that makes me happpy.



i love the rain, i juss hate the thunder. straight up.

now i remember why i hate weed so much, HA.
so, boys tend to juss talk to me for sex, dirty pictures, or dirtytalking, HAHAHAHA.
amazing right?! right.
im not looking anymore, imma paiently wait for a boy to come to me :)
if it dosent happen, ill live alone with my 3957230523 cats for the rest of my life.
i can see that happening sadly, hahaha.
wow, im lame. oh well.
mm, i wanna go to black star this weekend, but me and brandi need TUFFF STRONG boys to go with. not the whimps we know. HAHAHAHA.
man, its gonna rain soooon :) im happy, i love the rain.
RAIN DANCEEEEE!



im content, actuallly <3

mmm, my besssfreeeen kinda has a boy, they go on dates, its cute. plus he has this suppppa cute bestfriend :) hahaha. yeeee. she's not so sad anymore, and that always puts a smile on my face.
boys are pretttty lame, =/ straight up.
i cant find a boy. wow, that didnt sound patheic at all, HA. uhm, but serious shit, i eaither fuck up with them, or they juss want sex, or sometinnnnn like that. cooooool.
askjfklfhlaksfhaslfaslhaslgahsl;
oh welll, i guesss.
i neeedta find myself a boy, it seems like everyone has someone and im the only one left out, :/
fuuuuuck that.

im grounded for taking the blame. ///: oh wellll. i guess, grounded for a month. hopfullly i find a way outtta it.
i guess i screwed him over!?! wtffff. just cause i couldnt go out with a stoner who care's more about weeed than me, and who's a mothaaaa fucking man whore! geeeeze. whateverrrr, i already have someone on my mind :) akshfksfhasklasfas;
shit.