i felt you in my legs, before i even met you.

i really need to get my shit together and graduate..
i keep getting told im not gonna, and its the worst feeling in the world. ive always dreamt about getting the gown, getting all pretty, walking down the isle thing, and getting my dipolma as my mom cries and cheers for me and everyone around me telling me "i knew you could do it bre" but no, im gonna be in high school either another year. or im not gonna graduate at all.. and im just gonna prove everyone who dosent belive in me right.
i wish it was easier.
but its life.
life isnt easy. its the most fucking complicated thing in the fucking worldd!
but ill do it. i know i will. i need hope, and motivation.
:]


i have my eye on a new boy, but i KNOW things arent going anywhere with him. we flirt sorta but eh. hes a weriddd kid.
i juss wanna focus on everything else. i dont wanna get fuckedover again :/
listening to beautiful in the car, the whole song in like forever made me actually kinda happy. usually it makes me really upset and i get in a shitty mood. but i was singing on the top of my lungs and i had a smile the whole time. its a good song, juss the conecpt of him dedicating it to me is shitty.
sometimes i sit and think about him. than the other times i dont ever think about him. i dont know how to feel. i still love that kid with everything i have in me. but it wont ever happen again, and my hopes are so high and they always get crushed with him.
i guess what's done is done
i need to move foward and never look back..
which is impposible for me :/